Relationships start with first kisses. That doesn't mean all first kisses lead to love, of course. Figuring out how to get to that kiss is just the beginning.

When to Go for It
TV dating shows teach us that first kisses happen fast. If you believe what you see, you should be making out in a hot tub together by the end of the first date. But what is true in real life?
There's no definite right time. Often, the kiss comes at the end of the first date, but it could happen whenever the moment seems right.
Many people think if they don't get a kiss on the first date, there's no potential for romance in the future. But others are more comfortable with first kisses that happen on a second or third date, once you know each other a little better.
Invitations to a Kiss
Certain signals can help you know when to try for a first kiss.
- He sits closer than he needs to.
- She touches your arm or your knee while you're talking.
- He makes flirty comments or says you look sexy.
- She acts nervous, giggles, or plays with her hair.
When to Back Off
Trying to kiss someone who isn't interested can be mortifying. But if you never take a risk, you'll never get kissed! However, you can minimize your chance of getting it wrong.
Here are some signs a person doesn't want to be kissed:
- He folds his arms when he's sitting next to you.
- She sits far away or crosses her legs so that her body's turned a little bit away from you.
- He never mentions your looks.
- She doesn't flirt with you any more than with anyone else.
To Ask or Not to Ask
Should you ask before you kiss someone? It depends. Some people are charmed by the question. Others feel that asking makes a person look nervous or weak.
The best way to handle it is to do what feels comfortable to you. If your date doesn't like your style, it probably wasn't a good match anyway!
Kissing Styles

What's a "proper" first kiss? Is it a peck on the cheek, a touch of the lips, or a full-on "Elimidate" style mash?
A kiss on the cheek usually says, "I like you, but I don't want to date you." A brief kiss on the lips is often a safe bet: it's not too forward, but it leaves the door open for more. A deep French kiss clearly says "I want you"�but it can be off-putting, especially if your kissing styles aren't the same.
What First Kisses Mean
Once upon a time, a kiss was equivalent to a proposal. A gentleman simply didn't kiss a lady unless he intended to marry her, and a lady certainly didn't allow herself to be kissed by just anyone. Today, we're so free about sexuality that a kiss could mean anything!
First kisses can mean:
- "I think you're hot."
- "I like you and I want to see you again."
- "I think I'm in love with you."
- "I don't really like you at all, but I don't want to hurt your feelings."
So how can you tell? There's always the direct way: just ask! Not everyone's comfortable doing that, though, and you can't count on getting a direct answer anyway.
Reading the Signs
Try looking at the events surrounding the kiss. It might be a prelude to real romance if:
- It's accompanied by a request for another date.
- Your partner calls the next day or answers your call right away.
- You've had heartfelt conversations, not just one fun evening.
It might be just a kiss if:
- You've just met.
- You've never really talked. (Kisses on dance floors are often just for fun, and nothing more.)
- Most of what you've talked about is sex.
Why He (or She) Didn't Call
Often, we're disappointed when a first kiss is also the last one. Why didn't he call? Why won't she talk to you? Consider the following reasons:
- The person changed his or her mind. People get caught up in the moment: a fun evening, a shared laugh, a pretty face. Sometimes, in the light of day, they realize that it wouldn't be a good match after all.
- There wasn't any romance. Some people feel obligated to offer a good night kiss, even after a date they didn't enjoy. They feel it's the polite thing to do, like shaking hands after a business meeting.
- It was just a kiss. Kisses are ego-boosting, and they feel good. But they don't mean anything has to follow.