Getting Rid of Hickies

So you want to know how to get rid of a hickey. There's nothing more tasteless than having the leftovers of your make out sessions on display for the whole world to see. It's like you didn't even wash your hands. Granted, it's proof positive that you are in fact 'getting some.' But the people around you who aren't getting that sweet, sweet lovin' aren't impressed. Here are some things you can do to get rid of a hickey.

Getting Rid of Hickies

impossible, but treating a hickey is entirely possible.
Immediate attention is required if you want that hickey to go away fast. Find a way to kill them mood. If you're a guy, tell her she's fat. That always works. If you're a girl, tell him he has a small penis. That works too. Once passion has been utterly snuffed out, it's time to get to work on that hickey.

Applying ice, wrapped in paper towels, will help get rid of a hickey.
Any damage done to your skin or the blood vessels in your skin is going to cause some swelling, and swelling will ensure that the veins are constricted and that new blood cannot get in to help fix the damage. An icepack will help prevent swelling around the hickey, but constricts the capillaries as well.

Massage will help you get rid of a hickey.
This is true of any bruise, really. A hickey is caused by ruptured blood vessels called capillaries just under the skin, which then bleed out into the surrounding tissue and clot. Your blood clotting is the dark bruise you see after about a day or so. Your job is to massage (sometimes with a cold spoon) the bruise to help break up the blood clots and reabsorb the dead tissue into your system.

Applying heat to the hickey after 24-48 hours will help get rid of it.
What you were doing with the ice was constricting the capillaries to stop further bleeding. Now that the capillaries have healed, it's time to dilate the capillaries to make sure a lot of fresh new blood can come in and help clean up the mess. Do this with a wash cloth soaked in warm water for several minutes, wrung out, and then applied to the area for five minutes three times a day.

If the hickey is painful, take acetaminophen and aspirin, otherwise known as Excedrin.
Excedrin contains both acetaminophen and aspirin, and this is good for treating a hickey because it dulls the pain and the aspirin serves to keep blood platelets from adhering, thus reducing the amount of blood clots and easing the flow of subcutaneous blood (just beneath the skin). Don't take this right away of course. Take this after the hickey has begun to heal.

Covering a Hickey

Covering a hickey, if you're a girl, is pretty easy. You have two options open to you. You can either wear a shirt with a high collar to help you conceal the hickey (if in fact its on your neck), or you can use makeup to conceal the hickey. Apparently concealer, which isn't actually a word, with a green tint is the best way to go because concealers (there goes Word again) with green tint help to reduce blemishes that are red.

For boys, things are a little more difficult, and you're stuck to either wearing a turtle neck or finding a really cool looking bandage to put over it. Of course, if you buy the bandage, you're going to have to come up with a really good story. And of course, the second people get wind of the fact that your story is bogus and the girl who did that to you doesn't like you anymore, well, I'm not going to go into details but good luck braving those turbulent waters we call hormone induced social behavior.